I’ve tried writing this post a few times and each time, it’s far more melancholy than it ought to be. So I’m trying again.
Today my first book is out in the wild! Hooray! Second Position is for sale on all major ebook retailers (link opens a new window w/ buylinks). I’m on a blog tour which is super awesome! I did a few really wonderful interviews. I did one on Friday I really loved and today I’m at All the Write Notes because music and Second Position go hand in hand. You can also download the prequel novella Turning Pointe at Amazon and Google Books (still waiting for it to go up on iBooks and B&N but you can read for free at CarinaPress.com, Nook/iBook users until I have news on when it’s live on B&N!).
Thank you forever (but especially over the last two weeks) to Christina, Bekah, Nita, Michella, Paul, Marieke, Dahlia, and Sara for your support and your love.
Here’s what you can expect from Second Position: Characters facing grief, love, past hurts, and future fears imperfectly. A little bit of ballet. A little bit of piano playing. A snowstorm or two. A little bit of banter. A ballerina who plays chess. A theatre teacher with a prosthetic leg who misses dancing something fierce. Some hard hitting truth sessions between a young woman recovering from an eating disorder and her therapist who takes no shit. Less sex than other NA novels but probably worth the wait.
Here’s why I wrote Second Position. Not why I wrote a book with ballet. But why I wrote this book, which happens to have ballet.
I wrote it first for myself.
I needed to believe that imperfect people still had the possibility of finding Happily Ever After. I needed to believe that years of therapy were worthwhile. I needed to believe that people didn’t have to be good at love the first time, or the second time, or third time. I needed to believe in second chances and I needed to believe that love, and intimacy, and vulnerability were skills to be learned.
I needed to believe that if humans could learn to do pirouettes, they could learn to say to their partners, I need help. I need forgiveness. I fucked up. I’m sorry. Do you still love me? And I needed to believe, the same way a ballet dancer must trust that her partner will catch her hand at the end of her spinning turns, when the whole world is black and glinting lights, that a partner would catch that vulnerable person’s hand and say, Of course I still love you.
I have a thing about forgiveness. I think we’re forgiveness-deaf. We’re apology-fluent, but forgiveness-deaf. I hope that you come away from Second Position thinking a little bit more about forgiving yourself and forgiving the people you love.
I also want you to know that it’s okay not to be okay. That doesn’t make you any less lovable. That doesn’t make you any less deserving of love.
Especially if you suffer from mental illness or addiction, but for most people in general, it’s hard to remember this. But I want you to say that last paragraph aloud. Go ahead. “It’s okay not to be okay. That doesn’t make me any less lovable. That doesn’t make me any less deserving of love.”
I believe that.
And it takes awhile, but Zed and Aly believe it too.
I’ll see you backstage after you’re done reading. Thank you for your support and thank you for reading!