So I’m still plugging away on #magicballoonbook whose revisions have given me greater understanding on why writing a book actually takes forfuckingever. I first-draft freakishly fast. In fact, the fact that MBB’s first draft only took me a month was LONG for me. Then I started to revise and you know, care about what the book’s problems were because I want to be a better writer (
and because I want to get this book published). I figured out a possible solution to a problem that Super Scary Writing Group pointed out, repeatedly, and it’s enough of a change that thinking about it makes me want to drink.
(Edit: FFS, the gifs don’t want to work embedded and I don’t have time to fix it. Click for the gifs.)
So I’m starting to go back through those changes. Ideally, I’d like to have these revisions done by the end of May so I can put this down for June and come back to it in July and query by the end of the summer. Self imposed deadlines tend to move too, especially since I’m also applying to grad schools at the end of this summer and retaking the GREs.
On the other hand, I have had a version of this story in my head for a long time, and then a week ago, it basically was making my head hurt so much I was like, FINE, SHINY STORY IDEA, I WILL WRITE YOU!
So me with Magic Balloon Book (Dear SSWG, I’m not ACTUALLY going to call it that. Cool it.):
And me with Shiny New Story Idea:
My critique partners when I’m all, “I’m going to first draft Shiny Story this week and finish MBB revisions next week!”
How I feel when someone suggests I’m crazy for even suggesting this is possible:
But how I’ll probably feel in a few weeks (because did I mention, in 10 days, I’m a bridesmaid in my best friend’s wedding out of state, followed by BEA in NYC, followed by my cousin’s wedding out of state as well?)
So everything’s just
right now. Which is why I haven’t posted in 2 weeks? I was like “Oh no, it’s only been since last week,” and then I looked at the dates. OOPS. My bad.
Upcoming: feminist male characters in YA literature (tell me if you can think of any who are feminist from beginning to end) and update on all of the books I’ve read (look, can we get past having issues with issue books? I AM GOING TO WRITE YOU ALL AN ISSUE BOOK ABOUT MY ISSUES WITH YOUR ISSUE ABOUT ISSUES.)
In related news, SSWG (Super Scary Writing Group, the one in person on Tuesdays, which I love, and they kick my ass in a good way) probably will know about this blog shortly if they don’t already. I didn’t just say I loved them because of that. I really do love them. They’re smart and fun and I learn a lot. Also, they are amused by my beige food problem.
It was also my 5yr anniversary of starting to recover from the eating disorder I’ve had in some form or another since I was 12. So you know. Happy V-ED to me? (GET IT? GET IT?) But really. Recovery’s a fucking bitch. Most of my days still feel like this even years into recovery. I still have to remind myself of the reasons I decided to recover. I still have to remind myself that it’s actually impossible for me to gain ten pounds from a slice of cheesecake. I had to break down a lot of those recovery myths–spoiler alert, I don’t feel like a magical fucking butterfly and I don’t work out and feel awesome now and I still have trouble eating whatever the hell I want and it’s STILL the first thing I reach for when I panic or am anxious–but for the most part, I am doing much better. My eating disorder took away my creativity, my relationships, my drive to succeed, my academic success, and my sanity. Recovery’s given me most of that back. The one recovery myth that held up? Recovery’s a process, a journey, and not a destination.
If anyone is reading this and is in recovery, struggling to recover, or is recovered, you freakin’ rock and you deserve ALL THE STARS AND HUGS AND SPARKLES.
On that note, I’m going to peace out and go do my second job so I can justify writing tonight. Also so the kid gets home from daycare. I’m her ride.